The news identikit
Maybe I'm as guilty as anyone when it comes to making assumptions. Sometimes they're misplaced, and other times they're just plain dumb wrong. And I wonder sometimes if I make the wrong assumptions about news.
The assumption we make - at least I think the assumption I assume we make, if that isn't too ouroborotic already (and believe me, it might get worse) - is that there is a thing called news. This thing called news is made up of solid-gold things called facts. People from newspapers (or TV programmes, or whatever) go and look at the facts, then report them to us in a story. We trust that they've looked at the facts, and we imagine their version of what they've seen, or heard, or smelled, or whatever, is an accurate representation of what is actually there.
But I am not so sure it really works that way - or that we even assume that it does. Look at the Express story about the BBC from yesterday for a good example of what I'm talking about. There's a story which, when you pull it apart, doesn't seem to reflect what you're told about it. The headline says this will be a story about FAMILIES HIT BY BBC 'FILTH', but when you unpack it, the contents aren't quite what was on the box. The 'filth' is in the mind of a rentagob politician; the families aren't so much being 'hit' as exposing themselves to it, either on purpose because that's what they want to do or by accident because they're unfortunately thick; and the 'filth' in question really isn't about the BBC, unless you count a gloomy detective series as 'filth', which I don't.
But then if you did unpack all that, you wouldn't be left with something to write. It starts not so much with 'news' in this instance because nothing's actually happened; the event that anchors it in time is the release by MediaWatch of a press release, advance details of a press release or somesuch saying that children are being threatened by unsuitable content via such media as the iPlayer. We can't see it, so we don't know what it contained; but there doesn't seem any evidence that it focussed on the BBC. That element got bolted on, presumably because that makes it a 'better story' - other broadcasters showing you filth, so what? State-funded BBC, ah, that's better, because we're all paying for it!
And that's where I think news is a bit like an identikit picture. Bits of it might be right, but to make the story recognisable you have to add other details, other things you might expect. "What were his eyes like?" - "I don't remember" - "Well, we've got to put some on, let's just use these". It's a bit like that. When you know what the elements are, it makes sense. Of course the story has to be about the BBC, whether the 'news' is or not; it's stronger if it is, and it's less of a story if it isn't. It's not wrong to say that; it's not as accurate, but it's not entirely wrong. It needs to be there, just as a face needs eyes for you to see it properly as a face.
It's the same with Diana Mondays in the Express - an old classic that keeps getting revived, as it was today. There's partly the idea of expectation - another kind of assumption, but this time on the part of those doing the writing on behalf of those doing the reading - thinking that people will see Diana, recognise her, expect it to be the Express, have that expectation confirmed, and associate the goodwill attributed to that public figure to the product using the image, a kind of free branding exercise if you like. It's like having the union flag by the words Daily Express, as it used to do I think (but doesn't any more).
But there's another element, too; it's the continuation of the theory that the woman in question was murdered by a big conspiracy or plot which has been covered up. As we saw earlier, there are claims of a 'tsunami of evidence' but once again, when you unpack the box, it's not quite how it's been described to you, but that's an appealing narrative because it's taking a tabloid approach to these things.
You start with the idea that Diana was murdered. You fit the bits in around to make it make sense: if Henri Paul's blood said he was drunk, then the blood must have been tampered with, and so on. Make the logical connections, whether the evidence for them is there or not. There isn't a story if you don't. There's no story in saying Diana died in a car accident because the chauffeur was drunk, driving too fast for the road conditions and she wasn't wearing a seatbelt. Same same.
Mark Pack writes today over at Lib Dem Voice about how a story about a child who had been in a tree was reported, in his 'handy guide to how to be a journalist':
Fact 1: “At no point was any child ever stuck in a tree”.
How do you report this? Easy:
- TEACHERS LEAVE BOY OF 5 STUCK UP A TREE (Express)
- A FIVE-YEAR-OLD pupil was left stuck up a tree (Sun)
- She spotted the stuck five-year-old at Manor School in Melksham, Wiltshire (Metro)
It's not about what happened. It's about the story. The story is that elf'n'safety gone mad means Britain is bonkers. The story is always there, waiting for a few stray facts to attach themselves to it. So "there was a kid in a tree" becomes "he was stuck there and bonkers Britain elf'n'safetygawnmad meant he couldn't be helped, and the person who was got accused of being a pedalo", and so on, and so on. Whether it's true, or accurate, or fair or not doesn't matter. It's not about that. There is no story unless it is this, therefore, it is this.
The remaining question is one of whether we really trust these sources or not - we're certainly buying fewer newspapers, but that may be an indication of all kinds of things. I don't know if we assume that newspapers or news outlets are there to tell us about news and facts. Maybe we don't; maybe we're just finding the narrative that most closely matches our own assumptions and expectations, in which case, we're just doing what they're doing, albeit on a much smaller scale.
Maybe the arrival of freely available information via the web means people don't want newspapers and other filters, if they can do the interpreting and sorting themselves - we can create our own narratives rather than newspapers messily deciding the ones they think most of their readers will want. It's self-selecting distortion, and we're just as capable of that as a third party we don't want to pay for.
But if we do trust them, it's worth bearing in mind their relationship to the truth and to the facts, given that they'll be telling us how to vote in a couple of weeks' time, and saying the facts they have support their opinion.
Di another day
Yes, I'd say murdering someone is a pretty good way of 'destroying their love', but surely there are less dramatic ways? Anyway, good to see all is right with the world. Diana on the front and some shit about the weather. You don't have to stand in the queue in TJ Hughes, listening to elderly people grumbling... here's a newspaper that does it for you - with a side order of tinfoil hat!
Sadly, I can't tell you what the article itself says, because although it was online
it's not available any more. Are the Express going behind a paywall too? Or... well, it couldn't be wrong, could it?
*update* It's still there, but in the 'Express Yourself' section, rather than the news section which is rather random. (Silly me for thinking it was news - maybe even the Express are facing some home truths). The front page promises 'experts speaking out', so who is doing the speaking?
PRINCESS Diana and Dodi Fayed were murdered when a plot to “end their relationship violently” went too far, resulting in the fatal crash in Paris, a top lawyer claimed last night.
Michael Mansfield QC, one of the nation’s most eminent legal brains, believes the deaths in the Alma Tunnel in 1997 were the result of a carefully orchestrated plan by unnamed parties to end the relationship.
That would be the same Michael Mansfield QC who represented Mohamed Al Fayed in the inquest into Diana's death. Feel free to Mandy Rice-Davies at this point. But here's a refreshing bit of honesty:
“Nobody has even identified the drivers of the various following vehicles. It is impossible to know who exactly has contrived this situation. No one really knows who actually planned it and who actually carried it out, but there was a plan.”
No-one knows anything, but there was a plan. Because...? Because. Just because. That's the only evidence we get. Because.
Mr Mansfield’s views, put forward in a speech in Shoreham-by-Sea, West Sussex, during his one-man tour at the weekend, were spelled out at the same time that investigative journalist John Morgan claims to have uncovered a “tidal wave of evidence” in relation to the case.
Ah, OK. What's this tidal wave, then? Prepare yourselves for the tsunami of evidence!
He believes the inquests into Diana and Dodi’s deaths, overseen by Lord Justice Scott Baker, neglected to hear evidence from a total of 176 relevant witnesses. Some 47 witnesses also had excerpts from their evidence read but were not made available for cross-examination, Mr Morgan claims. The many witnesses who were not called included Michael Burgess, Royal Coroner and Coroner for Surrey.
Absentees also included forensic pathologist Professor Dominique Lecomte, who declined to give evidence, and the forensic toxicologist Dr Gilbert Pepin. The author said of Lord Scott Baker’s inquest findings: “How could the jury arrive at an informed verdict when they were not given all this crucial information? They were in a ridiculous situation, kept in the dark. My researches showed the cover-up continued.”
Aaargh! I'm being overwhelmed! Help me! I'm drowning in evidence!
In Diana Inquest: The Untold Story, Mr Morgan, 53, from Brisbane, Australia, alleges a cover-up by the authorities in France. He also claims Parisian investigators bungled the inquiry. Mr Morgan further calls into question the efficiency of the autopsy carried out on the driver, Henri Paul, and highlights major conflicts on witness accounts regarding the testing of blood samples from Paul.
It is claimed the samples were tampered with and swapped with those from another body in the morgue. His book, the third in a series of four on Diana’s death, claims to demonstrate “the lengths the French authorities were prepared to go to in framing a dead, defenceless, sober and innocent driver”.
But that's not really evidence either. It's "I think this, therefore, because." Which, as you might point out, is perfectly good enough when you're writing a shabby tabloid tale, but not good enough in a courtroom; and I think perhaps that's why this kind of thing appeals particularly to the Express more than other papers.
The modern-day Express is all about assumptions being turned into conclusions, without the need for evidence. So we assume Diana was murdered, well then we must conclude it, because this man says so. So we assume immigrants are damaging the country, well then we must conclude it, because this 'think-tank' says so. So we assume TV or Facebook or the BBC is corrupting our kids, therefore we conclude it is, and here's someone who says so.
It's starting from the conclusion and then working backwards, ignoring any evidence to the contrary and concentrating on the few slivers that might prove what you're saying - just as, you might say, conspiracy theorists often do.
Thanks to Tabloid Watch for the extra info.
She’s back again!
Thank goodness. We can all relax. All is right with the world. Because it's a Monday morning and...
Yes! There she is, Princess Diana, smiling away at some more cooked-up nonsense about her own death. Ah, time was when you were never more than 24 hours away from a new Diana front page at the Express... now we've had to wait a while, but finally, she's back. Even in the lean times, the Express managed to churn out a Diana page on a Monday morning, regardless of whether anything new had been discovered or not (it obviously hadn't), but it has been a while now, hasn't it? Diana Mondays appeared to have gone the way of, well, journalism at the Express.
If the photo accurately represented what Diana's ghost might think of the Express's obsession with her, I think she'd have her head in her hands and be tutting away as if to say "Oh, for fuck's sake. Again? Really? You've found some more shit to stir up? Look, I didn't wear a seatbelt. Otherwise, I'd still be alive, even if a Fiat Uno - the international assassin's vehicle of choice - had caused the crash, even if Henri Paul hadn't been drunk, even if there was a massive conspiracy, even if they used a different body for his blood sample... I'D STILL BE ALIVE if I'd worn a seatbelt... don't you get it?"
Lovely to see her back, though. I had worried that the Express had a new policy of not mentioning the latest crazy theories about Diana's death, out of some sort of respect for the dead or something (!), or because they felt that, you know, all the other stories they'd done hadn't ever achieved anything of any note at all, and that furthermore their bizarre fixation with conspiracy theories surrounding her death had, in many people's eyes, lowered the Express as a newspaper and a trustworthy source of information.
But apparently not. Full steam ahead! More Diana! More conspiracy theories! Diana Mondays are back!
She’s back at last
Thank goodness.
Sometimes you know something's wrong, but you can't work out what. I've been feeling that way over the past few months when looking at the front page of the Daily Express. Yes, there have been lies about immigration. Yes, there have been pointless stories boosting OK! magazine. Yes, there have been dreadful health stories about what does and doesn't cause cancer this minute.
But something was missing. Or rather, someone. Time was when you couldn't walk past a newsagents or those clear plastic bins outside petrol stations without seeing some utter gumph about the supposed conspiracy to kill Our Queen Of Hearts by making her chauffeur get really pissed and then drive into a concrete post a mysterious Fiat Uno - the car of choice for all shadowy international assassins - using a creepy Scooby-Doo-style weapon that made the crash occur.
It's been so quiet on that front lately, and regrettably so. So imagine my delight when I saw yesterday's Express!
Hooray! Diana at last. Diana's back on the front of the Express, where she belongs, alongside a new cockamamey theory about why she died and how it was all some big conspiracy. All is right with the world and we can relax safe in the knowledge that everything is in place. It's reassuring seeing Diana on the front of the Express - you can breathe a sigh of relief and think to yourself: well, whatever else happens, they're still peddling that strand of utter bollocks.
Ironically enough, of course, the picture shows her putting on a seatbelt, which would have saved her life on that fateful night - scary Fiat Uno or not - had she remembered to do it.




