Merry Christmas Eric Pickles, you dimwit
Happy jolly Christmas time! Hurrah! Snow already! Joy unbounded. But wait... what's this...? Could it be...? Yes, it's it the so-called politically correct brigade and the diversity Nazis come to spoil our fun...? Aaargh! Who will stand up for traditional British Christian loveliness in the face of the Fun Police with their evil Winterval and Season's Greetings...?
Step forward, SuperPickles. With his trusty shield made out of a Quality Street tin lid and a sword of holly and mistletoe, SuperPickles will smite those nasty anti-Christianity scum! Yaaaaay!
"We should actively celebrate the Christian basis of Christmas, and not allow politically correct Grinches to marginalise Christianity and the importance of the birth of Christ.
"The War on Christmas is over, and likes of Winterval, Winter Lights and Luminous deserve to be in the dustbin of history.
SuperPickles! Fighter for truth and justice! SuperPickles! Crusader for Christianity! Putter of politically correct rubbish into the dustbin of history!
Except... you can't put things in the dustbin of history if they didn't really exist. Say it once, say it a million times, but Winterval wasn't a way of taking Christianity out of Christmas. Say it loud, say it long, say it dressed as a Christmas turkey with a giant Nativity scene stuffed up your jacksy; it doesn't matter. Faces like Pickles don't care. Just as with David Cameron's pandering to tabloid mythology over elf'n'safetygawnmad, it must've happened because, oh, something, so that's good enough! People are fighting a war on Christmas! We must stop them!
It's depressing. No-one's trying to ban Christmas, for fear of offending minorities, or anything like that. Must we go through this every single year? Oh, we must. 'Christmas is banned' is as much of a Christmas tradition as granny falling asleep in front of Where Eagles Dare after scoffing the Milk Tray, it seems. Oh well. Merry Christmas Eric Pickles, you dimwit. Goodwill to all men and all that, even if they are recycling tedious nonsense.
My fellow media blogger Kevin Arscott (of Angry Mob fame) is compiling a lengthy rebuttal to the annual Winterval drivel, so look out for that.
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November 27th, 2010 - 14:23
Honestly Eric, it’s not the politically correct Grinches who are taking away the Christian bits of Christmas. It’s that everybody loves Christmas but not so many people actually give that much of a fuck about the birth of Jesus.
November 27th, 2010 - 14:28
Eric Pickles. What a C*nt!
November 27th, 2010 - 17:26
Looking forward to wishing SuperPickles a Happy Saturnalia!
November 27th, 2010 - 17:38
Well put. There’s some background on my blog: http://pigsonthewing.org.uk/winterval-the-truth/
November 28th, 2010 - 02:45
Ah come on, Pickles, it’s Christmas! Wahey!
November 28th, 2010 - 10:54
“…and not allow politically correct Grinches to marginalise Christianity and the importance of the birth of Christ.”
I don’t marginalise it out of being a politically correct grinch, I marginalise it because IT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED.
November 28th, 2010 - 11:26
Look chaps, Eric told me he overheard two druids talking, and the one distinctly said “these bleeding Christians, coming over ‘ere and taking our festivals”.
November 28th, 2010 - 11:26
You couldn’t make it up.
November 28th, 2010 - 11:54
Who said turkeys didn’t vote for Christmas?
November 28th, 2010 - 12:13
The church in Scotland banned Christmas for 400 years. That’s the kind of Christian tradition I can get behind.
Although I probably went a bit far last night when told that Christmas is for Christians and kids, and I said maybe I shouldn’t sacrifice 7 horses and hang them from the tree then.
(The bloke in the red outfit? Odin. You heard it here first)
November 29th, 2010 - 09:58
Perhaps Winterval should be included in lessons on reasoning as the paradigmatic example of a Straw Man?
November 29th, 2010 - 11:51
Interesting, though, how the modern (and it is modern, not traditional) Christmas with a tree, fat bloke in a red suit, lots and lots and lots of presents, seems, for some people, to define Christianity (and I know loads of Christians who define it in other ways, like campaigning for nuclear disarmament, peace, etc which the likes of Pickles would frown upon). No, the Christianity is defined by Christmas!
So when a friend, whose ex-husband’s a Moslem, was told their daughter will be wearing a hijab when she’s older, she retorted ‘over my dead body’ and that the girl will grow up knowing about Father Christmas and Easter eggs! Hah! As if that’s all that it takes to be a Christian, and as if no other religions do these things either.