Comments on: The amazing psychic powers of Closer magazine

By: 2hats

2hats — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 15:56:11 +0000

But if, say, singing, or acting, or whatever, is what someone wants to do with their lives, why should they be forced to put up with shit like this? The ones that do give interviews or accept cash for photos are wilfully entering into this whole business, but most do nothing of the sort – they’re just pursuing their chosen career, which is as much of a “proper job” as anything else. Success in these fields necessarily involves performing in the public eye, but that doesn’t mean they should relinquish the right to a private life outside of work.

By: Claire

Claire — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 12:28:18 +0000

Secretly fears: “Who’ll have me now?”????
Of course she doesn’t!

I’ve suffered my share of breakups and it’s either, ‘glad I got rid of that loser!’ or, ‘damn, where I can I get another’ and in the meantime, I’m out with the girls having a great time (which generally, you don’t have with a bloke in tow).

Do they put words in the celeb’s mouths or what? All bollocks.

Why do women buy these rags? I once sat for three hours in the hairdressers whilst daughter had her hair straightened and I was finally driven out of boredom to read one of these. I don’t think I’ve recovered yet.

By: Yakoub

Yakoub — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 06:05:05 +0000

I live with someone who buys it and reads Closer. This behaviour worries me. On the one hand, she doesn’t take it too seriously. Rather than boiling about the psychic quote sardonically mocked herein, she laughs at shit like that. She thinks the people who write for Closer treats its readers like thicky ars’oles, but the last larf is on them. She doesn’t read this shit uncritically. At the same time, she’s a woman with fairly typical female body image issues, which leads to some heated discussions about the impact of this rag on her own head.

In response to your piece, I think many celebrities make a great deal of money out of their fame alone and/or have chosen an occupation that involves being in the public spotlight. Some even give revealing interviews and take cash for letting people take pictures of their private homes. Whilst the excesses of glossy trash like Closer turns my stomach, my sympathy for their famous victims is limited. They could always get a proper job, like everyone else. THAT would put Closer out of business tomorrow.

By: Sonic James Doom

Sonic James Doom — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 19:14:39 +0000

Coke Zero… AND a Twix you say? Dear God man, I’m worried for your sanity! You may well be secretly wondering if Closer will ever offer you a job after this post…

Then again…

By: andrew

andrew — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 19:11:15 +0000

This week/this month/this year

By: c64glen

c64glen — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 16:24:00 +0000

“VOWL COMFORTS HIMSELF WITH COKE ZERO AND A FUCKING TWIX!”

This is by far the greatest upper-case sentence I’ve read today.

By: Charlie

Charlie — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 14:35:28 +0000

This is like crack for teh wimminz, apparently.

Note how each headline on the front page breeds fear (much like the Daily Fail):

“I’ll risk my life…”
“I’m afraid this marriage…”
“New health fears…”
“Cheryl cracks…”
“Heartbreak…”
“Celebrity anguish over absence of fear in life and lack of exposure in Closer magazine…”

Anyone who believes this crap or even actually reads it must be certifiably insane. Certainly those people I see on the tube reading it often don’t look like the happiest of souls.

By: Suzie Nichols

Suzie Nichols — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 13:55:19 +0000

This types of magazines are only to be read during a six weekly visit to the hairdressers. More frequently than that I fear that my head might explode with too many ‘exclusives’, I just might develop an eating disorder in sympathy with Victoria, Nicole et al or my eyes will burn out looking at too many images of SJP fashion shoots. One I read this morning (coincidently during my six weekly visit to the hairdressers) seemed to consist totally of pages dedicated to Charlotte’s marriage breakdown, each page covered in images of her at various sizes. Total codswallop! Women should demand something less insulting to their intelligence.

By: Banner

Banner — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 13:51:22 +0000

Gah – blog post, not article. Great, anyway.

By: Banner

Banner — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 13:50:45 +0000

Great article. I do not understand why these magazines, whose readership is 99.99% female, hate women so much.

Then again, given that they hate women so much, I also don’t understand why so many women buy them.