More reasons to be cheerful
1. Dimbers. He won. He won the fucking BBC. Wind him up and watch him go. A one-man election. Get them in a fucking room with Dimbers and get him to crack their heads together; I guarantee they'll all be playing nicely within five minutes. Behind those half-moon glasses is an absolute fucking powerhouse. Watch and learn, Nick Robinson. Watch and learn, mate.
2. BNP bloodbath. Beautiful. Bye bye Nick Griffin! Cheerio! Let's revel in it for now, and not wonder where those voters have gone. Political folklore has it the 'white working class' supposedly flit between BNP and Labour; but what if they decided Ukip was OK, or the Tories were tough enough on immigration for their tastes?
3. Pissing on the coronation parade. The Telegraph, Sun, Mail and friends must have been readying triumphal souvenir editions hailing the arrival of the Messiah. Unfortunately it didn't quite go to plan. And a hung parliament means that newspapers are going to have to try and do something they're not very good at: explaining something complicated. I pretty much think they'd prefer a two-party election because it'd mean they'd never have to worry about something slightly ambiguous. But this time they can't.
4. We're doing all right without a Government. Society hasn't fallen apart so far. Do you know, I think we might realise we don't need our hands held and arses wiped by these oleaginous wankers. We're going to be all right no matter how much they squabble. A hung parliament hasn't turned into an absolute disaster. Sure, the 'markets' might not like it, but the markets are as chimp-thick as the press: they dislike anything slightly complicated as well.
5. It's only five years. And it might even be sooner before we're going to get to the polls again. And a few years of Tory Government might remind a few people why they haven't been in power since 1997.
Chins up, chaps! It could be worse, so much worse.
No related posts.
Buy my book, it’s great
Switch site
Donate
Recent Posts
- Workbrain
- So Solid Wiki fun
- Quentin Letts killed by a woodchipper
- I just sent Robin round
- Kim Jong Ill
Most Commented On
Recent Comments
- Maeva on Tarts and hookers
- Merrick on Workbrain
- Maxine on Workbrain
- Sirenofbrixton on Workbrain
- Katie on Workbrain
About Me
Hello. I'm a Bristol-based writer and soon-to-be-redundant journalist. You can read more about me and the Enemies site here, or follow me on Twitter. Email me if you like - antonvowl at live dot co dot uk
If you're struggling to read the site please use the drop down box below to increase the text size.
May 7th, 2010 - 17:14
You are so right. We can all revel in David Cameron’s obnoxious, triumphalist words: “The Labour government has lost its mandate to govern our country” – because clearly the Tories have not been give the mandate either. Hurrah.
May 7th, 2010 - 17:19
Yay! Reasons to be cheerful indeed. Only criticism I have about Dimbleby: he does reveal his slight Tory bias after 4am. As he tires he starts to show overt concern if the Tories aren’t doing well. It’s subtle, but he is a closet Tory.
May 7th, 2010 - 17:48
Thanks, that has actually cheered me up. Now if only I could manage to forget about the local tory majority of 14%..
May 7th, 2010 - 17:51
I say let the Tories try to govern as a minority government – after all, they hate minorities, so they’ll have to beat themselves up.
Also, let them (try to) govern on the give-them-enough-rope principle – we’ll all be back at the polling stations by Christmas.
And Rejoice! Rejoice! Not only did Nick Griffin get trounced by Labour’s Hodge, but the BNP lost ALL 12 council seats on Barking & Dagenham Council!
May 7th, 2010 - 18:04
The Tories might not even be strong enough to withstand pressure for electoral reform.
May 7th, 2010 - 18:14
Thank you, I’ve been trying to keep from being downbeat all day. You’re right: at the end of it all, even we don’t get a Lab-Lib coalition, or any form of PR, at least people probably won’t vote Tory again next time.
Right?
May 7th, 2010 - 18:24
Got to have hope.
May 7th, 2010 - 18:36
Ideally this should be the start of anarchic government in Britain with Parliament laying empty and dead when the five years are up, but I’m not holding my breath.
May 7th, 2010 - 21:23
Great list, and bonus points for the figurative use of ‘oleaginous’.
I’d add the Green victory to the list. with power so precariously balanced, there’s never been a better time to get heard if you’re one unallied progressive voice in the Commons.
And further to the BNP wipeout on Barking, check this out and feel all warm inside:
http://ethicsgirls.com/bnpcost/
May 8th, 2010 - 01:06
The BNP story that’s been overshadowed somewhat is that not only did the fail to get any MPs but they also lost all their councillors in Barking & Dagenham. In fact not only did the BNP lose all theirs but the Tories and Lib Dems did too, giving Labour every seat
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/election2010/council/html/3892.stm
May 8th, 2010 - 03:32
You forget to mention poor old Jeremy Vine, being forced to ponce around all night, pointing at nothing in his little CGI world. I went a bit mad just watching him after I’d been awake all night! I knew I had to go to bed soon after I developed a crush on Paxman after about 27 hours of no sleep….
….and I don’t agree with your last ‘reason’, either. I think we’re going to have a hard time getting rid of David Cameron.
May 8th, 2010 - 20:07
We may have a hard time getting rid of Cameron, we may not… Already, senior Tories are sharpening their knives to use on him:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010/may/08/david-cameron-faces-tory-anger
Lord Ashcroft of Belize is hacked off at having pissed away £5m on a shite campaign, and has it in for Dave for not backing him over the non-dom scandal.
An anonymous Tory ‘senior frontbencher’ wants to get rid of Dave’s set, especially Gideon Osborne:
“[Osborne] ran his campaign from the back of his Jaguar with a smug, smarmy little clique – people like Osborne, [Oliver] Letwin and Michael Gove. He should get rid of all of them. The party will settle for nothing less.”
The Chingford Skinhead, Lord Tebbit, has risen from the grave to write that the Tories will lose the next election if they cosy up to the LibDems (all the more reason for the Cleggmeister to throw in his lot with Dave, then):
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/normantebbit/100038710/the-tories-will-lose-the-next-election-if-they-enter-into-a-coalition-with-the-tainted-lib-dems/
All in all, the Tories are quietly seething about Dave’s failure to win a majority againist the most hated and pisspoor administration since, oh, I don’t know, since the Stone Age or whatever.
With luck, the most atavistic and loony rightwing hatemongers will defenestrate Dave and his clique, take over the party and reveal the Tories as the Nasty Party they alway have been, are still, and always will be, and turn the electorate’s stomachs by the time of the next election (which probably won’t be too far away).
May 8th, 2010 - 15:28
You’re being a bit kind to Dimbleby, who seemed to be having far too many “senior moments” through the night, e.g., the BBC having decided that the best way of showing what had happened in each constituency was to reduce it down to a simple swingometer graphic (because obviously politically interested viewers still up at 3.30 in the morning wouldn’t be interested in or capable of understanding something more informative), DD then kept reading out the reverse of what had happened!
May 8th, 2010 - 15:34
People won’t last five years if their benefit gets stopped because Dave Cameron thinks they aren’t poor enough, or that His Lordship needs more money for his accounts in Belize.
May 9th, 2010 - 04:15
Not so confident on point 3.
I think you underestimate their ability to be disingenuous:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/election2010/2964713/Gordon-Brown-squatting-in-No-10.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/election/article-1274941/UK-ELECTION-RESULTS-2010-Badly-beaten-PM-clung-furniture-country-bayed-quit.html
May 9th, 2010 - 20:57
I agree with most of your reasons to be cheerful, but not on the BNP. Griffin may have been satisfyingly humiliated in Barking, but nationally they did significantly better than in 2005. In the previous election they got 192,746 votes, and this time it was 563,743 – that, frighteningly, is almost triple.