Cheese or chocolate?
I was discussing this very dilemma earlier. It's something I've thought of many times, so I thought I'd open it out to the floor. Cheese or chocolate? If you could only pick one, and could never have the other again, which would it be? Cheese? Chocolate?
No, you can't have chocolate cheesecake.
For me, it would be cheese. Cheese, every day of the week. Yes, I know it doesn't come in handy snack-sized wrapped bars very often - there are those two-stick efforts from Cathedral City, I grant you, but that would hardly work for a runny roquefort, would it now? - but it's so important to me. Imagine life without cheese - no pizzas, no cheese on toast, no Ploughman's Lunch*, no cheesecake, no Parmesan...
Whereas, life without chocolate. Sure, you'd struggle at first, but you'd get over it. You could use cheese as a chocolate substitute. A bit more savoury, I grant you, but it'd be OK. You'd live.
That's my view, anyway, and I could well be wrong about this - I'm wrong about so very many things in life. Which will it be? Cheese or chocolate? Cheese? Chocolate? DECIDE!
* I may have told this story before, but I was once in a ropey pub in Bath that sold Individual Ploughman's Lunches. It was a cellophane packet containing a Jacob's cracker, a piece of cheese, a tiny plastic pot of pickle and a solitary pickled onion. Call that a lunch? I mean, really? A lunch? A lunch for a mouse, maybe, but no lunch in the sense of 'lunch' that I've ever experienced. Aha! And look, here is an image of a product similar to the fabled pocket Ploughman's:
Except that looks rather nice in comparison. But you get the general idea.
No related posts.
Buy my book, it’s great
Switch site
Donate
Recent Posts
- Workbrain
- So Solid Wiki fun
- Quentin Letts killed by a woodchipper
- I just sent Robin round
- Kim Jong Ill
Most Commented On
Recent Comments
- Maeva on Tarts and hookers
- Merrick on Workbrain
- Maxine on Workbrain
- Sirenofbrixton on Workbrain
- Katie on Workbrain
About Me
Hello. I'm a Bristol-based writer and soon-to-be-redundant journalist. You can read more about me and the Enemies site here, or follow me on Twitter. Email me if you like - antonvowl at live dot co dot uk
If you're struggling to read the site please use the drop down box below to increase the text size.
February 16th, 2010 - 22:12
Chocolate all the way. I can eat more brands of chocolate than I can cheese. It would make life so much easier.
February 16th, 2010 - 22:20
Oh, I’m with you all the way. Cheese every time. If some Mephistophiles ever offered me superpowers so long as I promised never to eat chocolate again, I’d sign up at once without regret.
Whereas, if cheese were the offer I’d have regrets, but (obviously) I’d sign up and console myself with lots of chocolate.
February 16th, 2010 - 22:36
Cheese – although as I mentioned earlier, the initial question took me by surprise. It had to be chocolate. Nightmare, how can you ask such a question – especially with the football on. My diet consists of, in varied amounts and styles, cheese and chocolate. Usually with bread, but I could lose the bread.
My friend sitting next to me says chocolate. No argument, as hard as I tried. Cheese please for me.
February 16th, 2010 - 22:50
baked camembert. with or without cranberry. i think you’ll find THAT puts paid to any choc-based argument.
February 16th, 2010 - 23:04
Do not make me choose. I would find it difficult to live a normal life without either of these fine maleable solids in my life. You say I’d get used to no chocolate, and doubtless I would on a day to day level, but when I need that pick-me-up treat at the end of an absolute swaggering bastard of a day, a cup of hot cheese is not going to send me to bed feeling all warm, contented and at peace with the world again is it.
That said, cheese is the savoury lifeblood of so many fabulous foods. To sever the curdled artery of deliciousness would render my very existence pointless. I would never be able to look a baked potato in the eye again, and pizza would simply be a fancy form of toast.
To summarise, cheese is essential on a day to day level, whereas chocolate is unparalelled as the soother of frayed nerves and the comforter of weary bodies and minds. I struggle to imagine a universe in which either of these Godly milk products no longer exists, the very thought causes me to mimick Edward Woodward at the end of the Wicker Man.
OH GOD!! OH JESUS CHRIST!!!
February 16th, 2010 - 23:39
This is too difficult. AAAAH!
February 17th, 2010 - 09:20
Cheese, Gromit. Always. Although I am conflicted about the Marmite cheese things. Marmite = good; processed cheese = bad.
February 17th, 2010 - 09:54
I think I have to agree that cheese is more important. There are other sweets that I can eat instead of chocolate. That said, I would rather give up my little finger than chocolate.
February 17th, 2010 - 10:21
Cheese all the way my good man. Whenever I buy chocolate I’m always like ‘mmmm… this will be sooo tasty’ and afterwards I’m all underwhelmed and disappointed. Like sex really…
February 17th, 2010 - 17:01
You buy disappointing sex? O.ò
Jk.
February 17th, 2010 - 17:46
You know that dirty underwhelmed feeling you get after you’ve paid your hooker…
February 17th, 2010 - 19:15
Far too well … :S
February 17th, 2010 - 14:13
I was fairly certain my answer would be chocolate, until you mentioned pizza. There’s no way I could give up the magic of a Pepperoni or Meat Feast. Cheese it is.
As for chocolate, I’m fairly sure the Caramac would provide an adequate substitute. And Gold bars (which I think are basically Caramac on a biscuit).
February 17th, 2010 - 14:36
Cheese every time! I don’t mind a bit of chocolate every now and again but I could give it up for cheese no problem.
Wine gums or cheese on the other hand….
February 17th, 2010 - 15:51
Cheese. No question. What would life be like without all the variability of flavours from sweet and nutty (Emmental) to tangy and sour (Danish Blue) to “I’ll bite your head off if you even try to sniff me” (Roquefort)?
Chocolate… Well, I might miss Milky Bar.